Attention: Do not be surprised or put off by literary or imaginary characters that may appear in these pages. Regards.
Dear Sir Noted Stop Will be on the lookout Stop Hope to see you soon Stop Affectionately yours Gertrude Stop
A “friend” is delivering this. Received your latest. Am concerned for your safety in Lisbon. Do not delay there and make plans for Paris with haste.
Timothy delivered your note. So glad you’re not lying in a ditch and have repented of your wild ways. Don’t worry about me, am having gorgeous time with the pygmies and haven’t any time for Paris, but enclosed find a check. It should be enough for passage home.
Ever your own,
P.S. Do give Daisy my love and buy her an ice cream when you think of it.
I can not thank you enough for your assistance. It arrived just in time for me to purchase a ticket on a steamer leaving Tangiers for Majorca. As you may have heard, I had a bit of difficulty with the roulette there, the cheats! I am at the Hotel Dalt Murada. It is a fine place, but perhaps beyond my means because I was taken in by a Sicilian canasta sharpie on the passage. I am the victim of my own innocence, others always taking advantage. Perhaps dear, you could provide some assistance? Oh, come to think of it, doesn’t your good friend Betsy vacation here this time of year? Surely she would not be inconvenienced by me.
I can not believe that you are forsaking Paris for your blessed pygmies. How will I ever understand you? Still, your heart for science and exploration is charming. All in all, I am relieved you are not in Lisbon!
Surely I will give your love to Daisy when I ever make it home.
Charles, my dear,
No, no no! Homeward you must go. You mustn’t leave poor Daisy waiting, and wearing her sad beanie, and longing for you. It’s simply not respectable, and mother will be worried sick besides. I’ve rung Betsy and she’d love to have you but do stay away from her poodle this time, the poor thing hasn’t recovered yet, you naughty boy. I’ve wired passage home to Betsy and you must promise me you’ll leave just as soon as you can bear the high seas again.
Your very own,
P.S. I Quite agree about the Sicilians, but after that fiasco in Monaco, I thought you would know better!
My one and only Gertrude,
How could I deny you anything? But of course I will return home to sweet Daisy at the earliest opportunity. Do not think me heartless. You, mother and Daisy are constantly in my thoughts.
Thank you so much dear for the arrangements with Betsy. I assure you, that I had nothing to do with her poodle. It was solely Jeremy’s doing. I will leave here shortly, please contact me at Betsy’s. Hopefully the barmaid will not figure out where I have gone. I promise, no problems with the militia this time. Oh, do you have any friends at the Consulate?
P.S. Since Monaco I have been a martyr to my own innocence. What is your poor Charles to do?
Charles! Not another barmaid! I am greatly distressed and know not what to do with myself. Also I am laughing so hard I can hardly speak. Love, Gertrude